Well a new year is here, so what better way to look forward to things that trying something new. Now ye olde Youtube has this nice feature that displays all the popular videos as seen by the country, so I’ve taken to nabbing some off the list and seeing where things take me. Welp, lets see how awful this can get!
Carly Rae Jespen – Call me Maybe
Yeah I don’t know who this chick is and I really don’t want to know. There’s so much instantly wrong with this I’m not sure if it would be fair to critique it. Thankfully I don’t have to be fair. Alright from the get go we clearly see this is a girl sees boy and wants his penis, however, this dude is a fucking idiot. Who starts mowing a lawn in the middle? Then it’s followed up with him taking off his shirt for eye candy purposes. What’s plan B? WASH A CAR FOR SEXY APEAL. Oh too bad he’s listening to his iPod while actually getting work done instead of paying attention to your piss poor attempt at cleaning something. Oh then there’s that twist, how topical.
Victoria Duffield – Shut up and Dance
So it turns out music videos are going the way of modern video games and Brown is totally realistic and you add some bedazzle and shine in other places to make it seem high-rez. But all we end up with is a music video about a chick losing her mind and imagining this Ryan Reynolads/Enrique Iglesias combo pack telling her how to dance instead of showing her. Yeah this chick needs some help and counseling. All and all while I think it’s cool choreography based music videos are coming back, there’s so many cuts from move segment to move segment done that it’s hard to tell if these peeps can actually dance well. That’s why WORLD ORDER does such a better job is they don’t cut as much so you see the skill involved.
Alyssa Reid – The Game
I don’t think it would be much of a stretch to assume that Miss Reid knows anything about THE GAME. First off the point of the game is not to stand alone, and it’s dumb to try and prove this by crouching down in a crowd of people. Second, if you are going to stand alone, don’t have the eye candy in a wife beater stand beside you. (But personally I like the part where he jumps on his Black Berry and ignores that hoe) Also to the director, don’t include a guitarist and a basis in a music video where neither of those instruments are played. You have successfully made everyone look bad and stupid. In fact, this video just seems hap-hazard in the end and should never have seen the light of day.