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Up Yours Apple

The only ever good Mac or Apple product I’ve seen is one that’s dead and dysfunctional.

‘OH here it comes, another Mac hater who just wants to go off and hate on the super successful Apple’
– Some Apple loving douche

Now who’s being the biased one. I don’t hate Mac / Apple because it’s ‘the popular’ thing to do, I hate on because I have to use the damn machines for work and they are some of the worst computers I’ve ever had to use. They’re a step below those pre-built computers from HP or Toshiba, designed to work at the bare minimum of functionality all while appearing to be THE FUTURE.

There are many problems you end up running into while using an Apple product for productivity because, well, they’re not designed to be productive but rather designed with style. This is more or less the same problem I’ve come to experience with Skullcandy. So enough of this jibber-jabber, time to outline reasons why you’re better off saving your money and considering some other piece of technology that isn’t fruity.

  • OS X is a failure of an OS. It’s an old operating system that gets an update approximately every 18 months akin to getting Botox injections or Colligan fills. Makes it look all nice, but it underneath it all it’s just garbage. There are many problems I end up running into while doing work for projects that I would have less of a problem facing on Windows.For instance, OS X is still in capable of the ‘cut (not copy) and paste’ option for files. This is irritating when you have to move several or more files on the fly because you are forced to have two finder windows opened instead of a single explorer window on a PC and to boot, you have no short cut key. Am I nit-picking? Like fuck I am. If you’re using a Mac, go ahead and move files on the spur of the moment. Oh and finder can’t keep shit organized unless you’re on listed details.Another big issue I run into with is the damn dock. Another core piece of the OS that’s garbage. It’s never been helpful in the process of program navigation as your shit can get lost very quickly either because it’s all been minimized or it’s under a large stack of other windows above it. Typically in windows I alt+tab navigate to a program / window and it pops up for me, even if on the taskbar. OS X just goes to the program and if your window was minimized, then you have to go to the dock to open it up. It’s an irritation they’ve never bothered to fix. They need to make a keyboard key to bring up the dock. I know there is one that clears all windows to the side to get to the desktop, but one that just raises the dock up would be so much better and faster to get around working.
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  • Design > Function. This is a modern-day blight on most technology today. Somehow a memo was passed around to all technology companies and designers that if your future tech doesn’t look sleek and thin, then it’s not worth putting out. For some insane reason, Apple’s new iMacs ship with wireless keyboards that do away with the number pad and makes for a small compact keyboard.HOWEVER, people with work to do need that fucking keypad. It’s a critical component in most design work since a good section of personal shortcut keys are devoted to the number pad. Also it’s far easier to use when you have to do something silly like putting in numbers or getting ASCII / UNICODE characters. Apparently Apple has completely ignored the design community’s typography needs, the people who did a lot to make them who they are.
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  • Problems? You’re on your own. Another large part of using a mac is trouble shooting the endless problems you get when trying to do anything outside of the scope of turning it on and use the internet. I run into a lot of problems without evident solutions primarily since I’m doing things that clearly a lot of people never expected a mac user to be doing and that’s troubling. The entire Mac for life and ‘it just works’ mentality means that very few people bother asking questions online when something goes wrong, and there are fewer answers to how to make things go right. I don’t have these problems using a PC. The issues are so common that either a solution is found via upgrading or someone has written about it at length. Mac users are so self-limiting that only a handful of Mac users exist in the world (which probably isn’t an exaggeration). Case in point: had to migrate an e-mail account from an old mac to a new one. Put in all the log-in information correctly blaw blaw blaw and in the end spent something like 6 hours to get it to work and the entire root of the problem was the new machine was using a wireless connection instead of a wired connection. No amount of searching the internet got me that solution. I was on my own as usual.
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  • iVersion 9000. I can’t bring myself to own an Apple product because I like my technology to have some form of value to it. Just because a product happens to be expensive does not mean it’s the greatest thing since sliced bread. Apple products have almost a 0 value for me simply because every time you turn around, another better one is just around the corner. Apple is notorious for doing this and they manage to get away with it every god damn time. No matter how gimmicky they manage to make something, they always seem to be able to shove it in your face and rape your wallet.It’s worse when you actually know your technology and have a good idea of what’s floating around on the market to compare. The iPhone is still a piece of trash, with a more functional advertising department than anything else. The ‘keyboard’ is a joke, who the fuck video calls, and realistically the order of uses stands as this; games, texting, looking shit up on the internet. Not to mention you look like a retard with headphones in talking to yourself or holding the shit in front of your face while talking.Then we have the iPad. Total junk. More so now that the iPad 2 is launching soon. Hell, my ACER tablet PC from five years ago is comparable in capabilities than the iPad. It even came with a multicard reader for SD and the like, a keyboard, screen rotation… Yeah it was a bit thick and heavy, but it was still a laptop in the end as well as a slick tablet. It also was never outclassed by another tablet. Not even the iPad or iPad 2. Apple still has a lot of work to do to actually catch up to modern technology, exactly like the Wii.

Apple wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t turn themselves into a brand rather than a testament to technology and advances in modern computing. It’s taken them forever to incorporate simple and universal technologies (bluetooth, memory card slots, graphics cards) into their products to even begin to meet basic consumer needs. But in many, many ways they’ve always taken the approach of giving the finger to what everyone else is doing in stead of doing it their way, which somehow gains its own popularity and puts things into the wrong direction.

Companies are getting fed up with that shit and one of their biggest supporters (Adobe) has been more or less fucking Apple and their consumers over for the piss-poor choices they make. You can cheer all you want for the iPhone selling like 100 million phones or whatever (probably more like 60 million actual users), but when a fact like Nokia sells 100 million phones a year comes up, you come to realise Apple really has no game.

TL:DR – What it’s like to own an Apple Product by The Oatmeal

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