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Posts Tagged ‘Lessons’

Been a long time since I’ve written one of these, but today would be as good as any. Today marks the day when my (now ex) girlfriend moved out of our place after a month and a half of awkwardly living together. Things did not go so well or so smoothly, but I don’t regret what has happened. I gained my full independence that day and haven’t looked back.

A lot has changed in those 365 days. I’m not going to lie and say it’s been all totally awesome, as with everything there are ups and downs. What matters is how you handle the ups and downs and ride out any potential bullshit, or that’s at least how I feel business should get done. Really there wasn’t much I could do but go forward.

To look at some positives, I’ve been way more social with my life. Hell even done some things I never imagined I would ever do or be doing. I got to meet my first floor neighbours and they’re hella cool peoples who I party with on the occasion. I’ve made great new friends and dated some awesome people. Hell, I did some pretty cool things with my artistic aspirations and taken things in other directions.

The time living alone has also given me some perspective on who I am as a person and the kind of things I want to do and get done moving forward or every day.

I guess I can’t be a hater on today. I am still a bit sad, but that’s the nature of the incident. There’s no point holding a grudge or ill feelings it’s done and done. I was unable to change things when it happened nor can I change what happened now.

So as much as this is a Hate Monday, for today I put the hate away and think back on the good that’s happened to me instead.

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Zen sayings, as by me

I was doing something thinking while returning from the grocery store ( I mean what else should I be doing at such a time) and I decided to come up with some insane, but probably useful zen like sayings to help guide people. These are probably highly dubious and should be used for laughs or mass-produced cheap laugh t-shirts, but whatever, I like to spread wisdom as flavoured by my life to people. So here’s some Zen for you.

  • Often we will be challenged walk towards the blinding sun; remember to flail your fists and make contact with people’s faces
  • There are many burdens in our lives; such as carrying a 24 of beer 3 blocks in 50 degree heat
  • Love has no limits to it; unless you make it sign a pre-nup agreement
  • Smile at the world and it can smile back; make sure however it’s not a creepy rapist smile
  • Become connected with the world and your fellow-man; you’ll be well-connected to free drinks and stuff

My zen probably needs a bit of refinement, but with time will come wisdom and the eventually the need for depends. That time however is a long way off.

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Broken, but not dead.

About a month ago my beloved Skullcandy TIs suffered the fate of all headphones which had come before it; the wiring (most likely from the extreme cold) went and the sound along with it. Woe was me, I needed to get them replaced again. However since Skullcandy has graciously discontinued the TI series, no swap from Skullcandy. I finally decided to bite the bullet and just fix them myself.

Repair isn’t entirely common with them as it was very difficult to find anyone who had experience, but if you generalize it to search on ‘headphone wire repair’ then you should be able to narrow it down and get the information you need. I knew it was a wire problem because when I turned my or the wire was pressed in an odd way, the sound would cut out. I’m going to warn you however, if you don’t know much about soldering or electronics, then you’ll probably be better off just getting a new pair of headphones. There’s a good deal involved with the TIs because they have the volume control which bisects the wire, although this actually makes repair a bit easier than a single cable.

Also as a bonus, the extension cable they give you is the same wire but with the added bonus that it’s longer. If the wiring problem was on the plug connector, then you have an easier time as you can just swap that section. I had to swap the section between the volume and headphones. Inside the speaker is a bit of a pain in the ass, as they’ve got most of the wires connected to the headphones, however a fourth wire heading over to the right speaker needs to be soldered together (the pain in the ass connection). Volume soldering is fairly straight forward connection of the three wires, just make sure you know where what’s going else you’ll have a bad connection or reversed stereo.

All and all repair took me approximately an hour since I’m not the most experienced at soldering. Again the hardest part will be with the 4th wire connection to the other speaker. It’s also more difficult given the size of the wires you have to work with in addition to their coating. Even if you gob on the solder, you have plenty of room in both the headphone housing and volume control to fit everything back together. It’s all a matter of patience and caution.

Just to be clear, here’s a list of what you’ll need:

  • soldering Iron with a fine / thin tip
  • solder, be careful with lead based and use in well ventilated area
  • three strand colour coated wire (or Skullcandy extension wire packaged with headphones)
  • busted Skullcandy headphones
  • optional but very useful: ‘third hand’. Has two adjustable alligator clips to hold what you’re going to be soldering together.
  • electrical tape or heat shrink: used for covering up the fourth wire’s exposed solder to keep it from shorting out the speaker
  • patience and a steady hand

Again it’s not something overly complicated, but it’s best something to do as a last resort and if you have the background experience. If you have a friend who’s done it before, then I would suggest bringing it to their attention and see if they can pull it off. It was well worth the efforts of doing it myself as they sound exactly the same as when they were first put on my head to pump out some killer music.

Best of luck, and a bit of buyer beware with the next-gen of Skullcandy products.

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I really like to dance. But I really don’t like to dance alone. I much prefer to dance with a woman (or a group of women) who look pretty, dress nice and know how to move when the phat beats get dropped on the dance floor. I may normally hate Sean Paul, Diddy and Lady Gaga when I’m not dancing, but it become tolerant in a dance setting (+ alcohol).  Now I can’t say in the recent months I’ve had any lovely lady friends to go dancing with me, so I’ve had to go solo on these excursions. Also it had been a long while since I was dancing for the intent to impress ladies, I’m recently single again and trying to get back into the game.

To that end, I’ve been learning a lot of Do’s and Don’t and ‘That shit don’t make any fucking sense!’ of the dance floor and as an extension, society and the game in general. And I’d like to share what I feel is important to other guys who are also stuck in the game and not performing as well as they’d like. So here’s what I’ve learned in the past few months about going to the disco. Remember since this is my experience it probably differs from your experience and probably should not be taken as gospel.

  1. Don’t Solo

    ‘Safety in Numbers’. I’m sure you’ve heard that before. Discos and Clubs are crazy and if you’re not prepared, you will be eaten alive on the dance floor. But this not in the way you’re thinking. By being eaten alive, your confidence and presence on the floor will slowly be nibbled away from you in the same way a pack of piranhas will eat pray that just happens to fall into the river.

    Single dancers are somewhat excluded from other dancers UNLESS you’re a woman. Then you’re free to go with any group and any sausage fest is going to want you around to prove how awesome they think they are.

    But if you are going to the Floor as a single dude, best thing I can advise you is go with low expectations and high confidence in your skills. There is the possibility that you can get taken into a dance circle, maybe full of hawt chix, and end the night well. But realistically a wingman is a better bet. 

  2. Bring a Wingman

    Just like if you were a pilot flying over the European skies in World War II, when the ME-102s are swooping in to fuck your shit up, you want a wingman to watch your back. This goes with the safety in numbers as stated before, but there is a bit of an art to this. Going with like a dozen dudes can sort of send off the warning of a huge group of desperation or that tomfoolery is about.

    But if a huge group of DUDES NIGHT OUT is what you like to be in, then by all means take that shit to the dance floor. What I found was better was going with one or two wingmen and if other dude friends are there, join up with them. The reason for having Floor wingmen is to break up/break down the barriers that chixs form. Chix don’t like to be left alone so if a solo dude goes for her friend she’s going to want someone too or resist to not be alone.

    As a bonus, you give ladies options and a sort of point/counter-point between yourself. Women will judge you on the other people you are with and over-all how well you both can bust it on the dance floor. So choose your wingmen carefully and wisely.

  3. Have a Drink in Hand and Smile on Your Face

    Going dancing is about having fun and a good time, you’re potentially there to meet nice people. Going there with a scowl on your face is going to give the impression you were dragged there. Even if the music is shitty and you can hardly dance to it, smile like you just won the lottery or something. And make sure women see you smile. They love that shit.

    As for having a drink in hand, well that’s to show you like to party. It may not be hard partying but you tell people, you enjoy drinking and killing your liver just like everyone else. I typically drink liquor and have a distate for beer unless it’s a cider, so I can’t really say how effective it is to have a beer bottle vs plastic cup, but the important thing to remember is to not spill whatever you’re drinking on someone as a that could kill any and all chances of people liking you. That is unless you happen to spill on the chix who’s into water sports and that kind of shit, then you best live up to that standard as best as you can.

  4. Dance, no matter how bad you are at it

    Now I know for fact I’m not the most awesome dancer when I get onto the Floor, but I know I can cut a little rug if my blood alcohol level is at a good level and the beat/music is going well. In theory I should be super awesome since I’m mulatto, but it never seems to work out too well for the first half of the night, but does pick up later and I’m like some sort of superstar. They key however is to keep dancing when on the floor, even if you’re just on the sidelines looking for potential.Remember the scene in Jurassic Park when the T-Rex busts out of his enclosure and they make mention that it’s attracted to the movement? Well same rules apply on the Floor, except you’re not going to get eaten. Maybe.

    But still remember this: ‘If you walk without rhythm, you won’t attract the one.’  Realistically speaking from my experience, depending on where you are and the crowd, the chixs might be in to the flailing white guy rather than the smooth dancing black dude. It’s important to remember to use your entire body when dancing and dance to the music going on, never lose the beat. Even if you have to slow down, keep some part moving to that beat, else how do you expect to keep up with beat changes in other places and more exotic dances. (HINT, HINT)

    I think a reason for being passed over on the Floor could be the fact that the white dude’s shitty dancing makes the chix look better in comparison to the better dancers.  I experienced this a lot while at a resort discotheque and it was irritating as shit and mind-boggling. Hell, even the old white dudes were able to dance up ladies more than me. I’m not going to say it was any one thing as there were a lot of variables going on that entire week. It was a mess of bad dancing, repeated tunes and a sever lack of young single ladies.

  5. Confidence

    So you’re on the Floor, or standing to the side watching what’s going down. You’re dancing with a drink in hand being mindful of who’s watching you and your  wing man is watching out for you too. Finally you notice some chix has been glancing at you several times in the last five minutes. What do you do?If you answered anything other than ‘Get on that Shit’ you answered wrong. Don’t wait, get on that shit. Because the Floor is full of any other dude who’s going to move in when you’re slacking, taking a nap, or trying to get another drink. Everyone who’s not a wingman on the Floor is a cockblocker, yes, even the dudes that are with their ladies.

    If you wait too long you risk the chances of looking stupid and uninterested in the ladies. And don’t make the noob mistake of just walking over, you’ve got to casually continue dancing over and dance with her. It’s also key to speak up and have something quaint to say instead of cliché, although some times that’s okay as well. But be confident in what you do and the ladies will pick up on that.

  6. Be a Gentleman

    Not all Chix on the Floor are going to want you around and you have to respect that. It’s fine sometimes to be a cocky mother fucker on the dance floor, but if you’re getting resistance don’t be a douch bag and keep forcing yourself on ladies who don’t want your shit. You keep that up and all the chix will peg you as one of the creepy dance floor motherfuckers to avoid.

    It’s confusing at times, but you have to play it right more so when it comes to full contact dancing. It’s really best to wait until the chix in target makes the move first and then establish it’s what she wants. Don’t worry, she’s not concerned with your feelings at all at that point, just what she wants to get and what you are providing. This also means you have to be mindful about the groping, although typically you’ll get the message if she wants that level of action or not. But it’s not something you force on a lady. Be a Gentleman.

That’s really all the major lessons I’ve learned and depending on where I’ve gone, with various crowds, you’ll get a half-dozen results. It’s best to keep in mind that you have to be patience and understanding as everyone is out for something different. You would think that the equation of “Black Dude + Good dancing = lots of ladies dancing on his shit” is universal, but I’ve been cocked blocked by enough people of all levels of dance skill and ethnicities to know it’s not true. Just pick your place that you like and dance. And if nothings happening with you, just dance because you like it.

Also keep the following in mind

  • Attention Whores: These are chix who dance for attention. They have no intentions with mens on that night, so forget them
  • Douchbags: They’ll get all up in your biz because its nature to them. Make sure to shun them and keep them away.
  • Don’t arrive early: Timing is tricky as you don’t want to be first, nor so late you’re last. Again, depends on where you go to dance.
  • Watch booze levels: This is just to make sure you’re still dancing on the floor or sleeping on it, or away too frequently because you have to piss.
  • Leave the Sloppy Chix: Sometimes, it’s just not worth it to deal with someone who’s going to pass out, forget or vomit all over the place
  • Get numbers or email: Try and keep a method of contact with the ones you like. Giving your info runs the risk of not being contacted, but getting hers means she’s leaving it to you. The worst she can say is no and then you really haven’t lost anything.
  • Dress nice: Seriously, who wants to dance with a bum? Don’t drop $300 on an outfit, just find some shit you don’t wear often and pull it together. Also smell nice too.

That’s all I really got to say about this. It’s really ever evolving like the game itself, and if I were to score myself,  know I’m on the losing side for now. But keep in mind this isn’t something done in a day, or a week, it takes as much time as you’re willing to put into it. And the real way to win is have fun, not get numbers or take ladies home, that’s just bonus.  So get out there, get noticed.

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